badfic the first!
by butterflie
Summary: Daisuke's got a secret, Takeru's surprised to learn what it is. Takedai, joke fic. One of these days I may finish this.
1. badfic the first!

Disclaimer: Toei's. 

One day, Takeru woke up and realized he was gay.

* * *

One night, as Daisuke was falling asleep, he realized he was gay.

* * *

"Yamato, I just thought I should tell you I'm gay. Are you okay with that?"

Yamato didn't even bother to look up from shagging Taichi like mad. "Sure, Takeru. Go away now, oniisan is busy."

* * *

Daisuke angsted. "Why did I have to open my big mouth? Now my parens hate me, my sister thinks I'm a freak, my friends have abandoned me..."

He let out a big sigh. "Everyone's right, I _am_ stupid."

* * *

Takeru was on his way home from basketball practice when he noticed a forlorn figure sitting on a conveniently placed bench about a conviently placed fifty feet away. As he neared, he realized the figure was Daisuke. He looked like he was angsting. 

_I wonder what's wrong with him..._ Takeru wondered. He walked up to Daisuke and sat down. Daisuke glanced over at him briefly, but didn't say anything. The two of them sat in silence for a bit. Takeru was beginning to feel awkward.

"So... Daisuke," he said, just to break the silence. "What's wrong?"

"Everyone hates me."

"I don't hate you," Takeru said immediately.

"You will once you find out my secret."

Takeru was curious. He didn't think Daisuke _had_ secrets. "What secret is that?"

"I'm gay." There was a short pause. "See? Now you hate me!" He angsted some more. "Everyone hates me! I'm just as stupid as they say, always opening my big mouth!" He continued to rant on.

"I don't hate you," Takeru repeated once he'd gotten over the initial shock.

This surprised Daisuke so much that he shut up midsentence. "What?"

"I'm gay too," Takeru admitted. "And... well..." Floundering, not knowing how to say it, he decided to show Daisuke instead.

So he leaned over and kissed him.

Daisuke froze, his eyes widening, hardly daring to believe that Takeru was kissing him. But Takeru persisted, and so Daisuke censored kissing scene.

At last they had to break apart or risk dying from lack of oxygen. "So Daisuke..." Takeru started. His face was flushed and he was breathing heavily, but Daisuke thought insert awful cliche here. "Wanna go back to my place?"

Daisuke grinned. "Sure!"

Maybe everyone didn't hate him after all.

THE END.

This bad!fic brought to you by butterflie.


	2. badfic the sequel!

BADFIC THE SEQUEL

Daisuke looked around Takeru's apartment in awe. "Wow, nice place man. I especially like the flowered curtains."

Takeru waved the compliment away. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Focus, Daisuke." He grabbed the whatever colour Daisuke's hair is-headed boy's hand and yanked him down the hall, tossing him on his bed.

Daisuke yelped. "Takeru! What-" His cry was silenced as -cheesy line about Takeru kissing Daisuke-.

"-insert moaning noises here-," Daisuke forgot whatever else he was going to say and just lost himself in the sensation of the earth-shattering kiss that Takeru was giving him.

-long make-out session description here-

Takeru then removed Daisuke's clothes. Slowly. And with sensous description so that the reader goes "OMGHOTTWRITEMORE".

-kinky sex scene--take note that Daisuke is a cute little virgin and Takeru is stereotypical "I've slept with tons of guys before!"-

When it was over and they had both collapsed, sweaty and exhausted, Daisuke smiled. "Thanks, Takeru," he murmured.

Takeru looked adorably confused. "For what?' But Daisuke was already asleep.

* * *

"Hey Yamato, I just thought I should tell you that I got me some last night! Um... I hope you're not jealous, I know you've had a crush on Daisuke forever."

Yamato didn't even bother to look up from his Taichi sundae. "That's nice, Takeru. Go away now, niisan's busy."

"You never listen to me anymore," Takeru grumbled, but he left the apartment as Yamato had asked.

* * *

Daisuke was angsting. Again.

"Why did I go and do that?" he mumbled to himself. "What was I thinking? I'm so stupid!" He sighed. "I should have known that it would just be a one night stand. I should have known Takeru didn't like me that way. I'll never have a chance with him..."

-obligatory paragraph about how Daisuke has had a crush on Takeru ever since the first time he saw him, and how his getting jealous of Takeru's proximity to Hikari was a cover-up, that it was in fact a reversal.-

He sniffled a few times for good measure, and looked as dejected as possible, to be sure that he was angsting properly. He hoped that perhaps the day would be a repeat of yesterday, and that Takeru would come along and tell him that he'd always loved Daisuke all along. Then perhaps they could go back to the blond's place again and have some more of that wild sex.

But Takeru never came, and Daisuke and -phrase about his broken heart- went home.

THE END.

this bad!fic brought to you by butterflie.


	3. badfic the interlude!

BADFIC THE INTERLUDE AKA BADFIC SMUT

The next day, Daisuke was angsting about in his room. He still hadn't seen Takeru after he'd left the blond's apartment yesterday, and he was beginning to think Takeru was avoiding him.

Just then, the phone rang.

Daisuke let it ring a few times, not in the mood to talk to anybody, but then he realized it might be Takeru. However, just as he was about to lift the receiver, the ringing stopped.

"Oneesan must have answered it," he mumbled to himself. "Probably one of her friends or something anyway."

A few moments later though, Jun shouted for him. "Daisuke! Phone!"

Daisuke looked surprised, but picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hi Daisuke."

"Takeru!" he exclaimed. "Are you avoiding me?" he rushed to add.

"Yep!" came the cheerful reply. Daisuke blinked. "Well, I was, at least," Takeru amended. "I'm not now though!"

"That's good to know..." He paused. "So why are you calling me?"

"Well, at first I thought I was just happy that I got some, but then last night when I was trying to sleep I kept missing you so much and then I realized the truth!"

"The truth? What's that?" Daisuke asked warily.

"Well, I love you!"

-shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin- (A/N: that means long silence for all you silly amerikajin no baka!1!lolz)

"Daisuke? Are you there?"

"Uh..." Takeru's voice sounded shrill and small over the phone, and very far away. Or maybe it was just Daisuke, because he felt like he was about to faint.

No, wait.

He _had_ fainted.

Or had he?

He looked around the room, noting that his position was currently flat out on his back on the floor. Absently, he noted that the phone was still in his hand, and it was emitting a rather annoying sound, the kind that it only makes when someone on the other end has hung up on you.

"Well, that's just great. Good going, stupid Daisuke."

* * *

"Yamato, I just thought I'd come over and ask you what you would do if someone fainted while you were talking to them on the phone."

"Hang up on 'em," Yamato mumbled as he eagerly attacked Taichi's neck with his mouth. "Now go away, oniichan's very busy."

"That's what I thought. Thanks Yamato," Takeru said as he waved goodbye.

* * *

_knock knock_

"Daisuke!" Takeru exclaimed upon opening the door. "What are you doing here?"

"You, I, um, well, the phone. And you said-- I think I-- can I come in?"

"Of course!" Takeru stepped aside to let the other teen in, and then after shutting the door behind him, led Daisuke over to the couch. "Can I get you something to drink?" he asked when Daisuke was settled.

Daisuke shook his head. "Look, Takeru, did you mean what you said?"

Takeru smiled. "Of course I meant it. What, you don't believe me?"

Another shake of the head, sending strands of hair flying everywhere.

"Shall I prove it to you then?" Takeru asked with a grin.

Daisuke gulped and let out a nervous laugh. "Takeru..."

* * *

(A/N: Warning! This next part is graphic! Don't like, don't read!)

"Mmm... Takeru! Takeru, don't stop! Please!" Daisuke moaned. He gasped as Takeru dug in deeper, feeling some slight pain. "Ow!"

"Sorry," Takeru apologized, not sounding remorseful at all.

"Can't you be more careful?" Daisuke grumbled, though to be truthful he didn't really mind. It felt like forever since the last time he'd done this, and he was in heaven.

"Well, maybe if you did this more often..." Takeru paused for a moment before scraping his fingernails hard against Daisuke, causing Daisuke to moan again.

"Oh god Takeru, that feels... ah! -amazing," he hissed out between clenched teeth. "I never realized you were so good at this!"

"Well, I only learned from the master. Yamato is the best, you know." He gave Daisuke's head one last scrub for good measure, and then turned the shower back on. "There. Rinse."

Daisuke leaned over obediently, rinsing all the shampoo from his hair, relishing the feel of the hot water pouring over him.

"Now. Aren't you glad I made you wash your hair? And acting like such a baby about it too!"

"...shut up. Jun uses all the hot water up. Showers are rare," Daisuke said defensively.

"Well just take a cold shower then!"

"Those are only good for getting rid of an erection."

"Speaking of..." Takeru said, looking down at Daisuke's crotch.

"Heheh..." Daisuke grinned nervously.

"Need some help with that?" he asked, reaching down and grabbing Daisuke's arousal through his pants.

"Meep! Takeru!" Daisuke cried as the blond began a lazy up-and-down motion with his hand.

...at this point, the author is near death from laughter. she offers you her apologies and challenges you to use your imagination and finish the fic yourself.


	4. badfic developing a plot of sorts!

BADFIC DEVELOPING A PLOT OF SORTS BUT WELL NOT REALLY (SORT OF SMUT FIRST)

Daisuke and Takeru had been in a relationship for three months now. Well, if you could call it a relationship. Mostly they just had sex. But it was good sex, the best (albeit only) sex Daisuke had ever had. So he couldn't really complain too much.

But still, there were times when he wished that Takeru wanted to be him without the sex, that he wanted to be with just Daisuke and not only Daisuke's cock.

He thought about mentioning it to his fabulous blond lover a few times, but decided he didn't know a way to make the request without coming off as totally stupid, so he never said anything about it.

Really, the sex was fabulous, so he didn't angst too much or too often over it.

* * *

Takeru had just gotten back from a trip to the doctor's office, and he was angsting. In fact, he was angsting _majorly_. 

He was devastated. Why did he have to suddenly have cancer _now_, when he had only just gotten a good start at screwing Daisuke? Why couldn't it have waited until he'd spent years fucking Daisuke and had satisfied most of his lust?

Oh God, how it hurt. He angsted some more. He was really going to miss that gorgeous cock of Daisuke's. It was always such fun to stroke his hands up and down it and watch Daisuke squirm, or to hear needful whimpers coming from him when he took the length of that cock in his mouth.

And that ass, _oh how he would miss that great ass_. It was the most perfect ass he'd ever had the joy of caressing. He could play with that ass for hours on end, running his hands over smooth cheeks, sliding a finger or two past that first tight ring of muscle and deep into his boyfriend's body. He loved to hear Daisuke sob his name frantically as he stroked and hit Daisuke's prostate over and over until at last Daisuke came, muscles clenching down tight on his fingers for a few moments before relaxing again.

It amazed him how little it took to make Daisuke come sometimes. He would miss that a lot, but it couldn't be helped.

The only question was, how would he tell Daisuke the horrible news?

* * *

"Yamato, I wanted to ask you your advice on the best way to tell Daisuke that I have cancer and only have a few months left to live." 

"Take him out to a romantic dinner," Yamato sighed as Taichi began to pull off pants.

"That's a great idea, why didn't I think of that? Thanks, Yamato." Takeru waved and left.

* * *

Daisuke was angsting, yet again over how he wanted to go on a date with Takeru and how it would never happen. So of course, he couldn't have been more surprised when Takeru asked him a certain question. 

"Daisuke, how would you like to go out to dinner with me this evening?"

"R-really?" Daisuke stuttered in surprise, -very awful cliché about blushing-.

Takeru nodded and gave him a smile that was as -some random and inappropriate simile here-.

"Yes, then!"

"Alright then, -restaurant- okay, about -time-?"

"It's perfect!"

"Okay." Takeru left, and Daisuke felt as if he'd died and gone to heaven. Takeru did love him after all.

-End on some even more sickeningly sappy line.-


	5. the return of badfic!

(Finals are OVER, baby! FUCK YEAH! A whole four months in which I don't have to see that damned university! Maybe now I'll finish this silly joke of a fic xD)

THE RETURN OF BADFIC!

It was finally the day of their date. Daisuke had been euphoric all day. Okay, he was more than a little nervous too. It would be his and Takeru's first date, and he wanted it to be absolutely perfect.

But, it probably wouldn't be perfect... Daisuke started to angst. He was totally stupid. He'd never been on a date before. He just knew he was going to mess it up horribly. He'd probably say something stupid, or do something wrong, like use the wrong fork for his salad, or something. Anytime there was an opportunity to make a fool of himself, he somehow managed to fulfill it.

He angsted some more, staring blankly at his closet, where the outfit he'd picked out for the night was waiting. Great. Now suddenly he didn't want to go.

* * *

Takeru was really in a pickle this time, and he was trying not to angst about it, but it was hard. He'd promised Daisuke a romantic dinner in a fancy restaurant tonight.

He hadn't counted on the hospital bills for his chemo therapy to come in so soon.

Or for them to be so high.

And now it looked like he wouldn't be able to deliver. He wasn't terribly disappointed about it himself. He was only in the relationship for the great sex and to satisfy his lust. But Daisuke had alluded to wanting something more a couple of times in the past. Therefore, he'd been treading carefully with the whatever-colour-hair-headed boy, so as not to lose him. Dealing with an insatiable sex drive could really suck sometimes.

But oh, that didn't matter. What to do, what to do about tonight?

Takeru angsted. Now suddenly he didn't want to go.

* * *

"Yamato? If you'd promised Taichi a romantic dinner in a fancy restaurant and then realized afterwards that you couldn't afford it, what would you do?"

"Mmph. Take him... out to... McDonalds," Yamato managed to mumble around a mouthful of cock. Taichi's, to be precise.

Takeru brightened immediately. "That'll work. Thanks Yamato, you're a great brother! Bye!"

Yamato was too busy to bother with a reply.

* * *

Daisuke blinked. "Here?"

Takeru nodded and smiled. "Sure! It's perfect! I love this place!"

"Uh..." Daisuke looked down at the suit he was wearing, and felt incredibly stupid. "I thought we'd agreed on -restaurant- though..."

The blonde shrugged. "Well, I thought about it, and I decided why bother with all that fuss when McDonald's is just as good? Come on, why not try something from their Dollar Menu? The food's to die for!"

"Sure..." Daisuke mumbled. Internally, he was angsting. Takeru didn't care for him at all! -insert three chapters on which Daisuke angsts and mourns about he much he's fallen in love with Takeru in their short time together, and how he realizes that no matter what he does, Takeru won't love him and only sees him as a way for sex.-

-Cue ordering scene here, and the consequent picking out a booth away from screaming happy children, followed up by the Scene In Which They Eat In Silence And All Is Awkward.-

"So..." Takeru began, when they'd both finished their food.

Daisuke started, and stopped staring into Takeru's -insert purple prose euphamism for eyes- like a lovesick puppy. "Huh?"

Takeru swallowed nervously. He dreaded the scene he knew was about to come. "You see Daisuke, I have something to tell you..."

* * *

Hee. Cliffhanger! xD I am having way too much fun with this. It's so stupid it's amusing XD 


	6. badfic tragedy!

BADFIC TRAGEDY

Daisuke swallowed nervously. "What, Takeru? What is it? Tell me!" he cried.

"Well, the truth is that I'm dying," Takeru replied bluntly.

"WHAT!"

The whole restaurant looked over at them. Daisuke blushed and lowered his voice. "I... I don't understand. How can this be? What do you mean, you're dying? You can't die! You're too youg!" -insert several poetic lines about how Daisuke can't live without Takeru-

"Sorry." Takeru shrugged. "I have cancer."

Daisuke felt his eyes filling with tears. "But... but I love you!" he blurted out.

Now Takeru looked uncomfortable. "To be honest Daisuke, I was just in it for the sex."

* * *

"Yamato, what would you do if Taichi broke up with you but you really wanted to stay with him because he was a great source of sex?" 

Yamato looked up from the food he was cooking (haha, no sex with Taichi this time!). "Daisuke broke up with you?" he asked incredulously.

Takeru lifted one shoulder helplessly. "I told him the truth about our relationship."

Yamato rolled his eyes. "That was dumb. Go lie to him and tell him you love him, and then you can have all the great sex you want. That's what I do with Taichi. Just a little Ishida trick of the trade." He winked.

Takeru grinned. "Great idea! Thanks Yamato!" He waved and left.

* * *

As per usual these days, Daisuke was angsting. He was angsting greatly. In fact, he was angsting over so many different things that he was starting to get lost. 

Takeru really didn't love him. Takeru only wanted him for the great sex. Takeru couldn't care less about him. He continued to angst. Tears rolled down his cheeks at a furious pace as he scribbled angsty gothic poetry in his notebook.

Takeru had cancer. Takeru was dying. Takeru wouldn't be around much longer. Takeru didn't love him. His Take-chan...

Sobbing uncontrollably, he turned on some angsty emo music to lose himself in. No one understood his pain like his favourite bands...

Oh, the angst! Why had he broken up with Takeru? Takeru had such a short time left on this wonderful Earth! He should have sucked it up and stayed with Takeru until his death. Even if it was just sex, it was better nothing. He'd give anything to have Takeru back now.

* * *

Alone in his room in his apartment, Takeru flung himself down on his bed and sighed. He had just come back from a round of chemo therapy and he was feeling incredibly horny. There had been a male nurse there, one that looked like a slightly older version of Daisuke, and he couldn't help but lust after the man the whole time he was there. 

He'd really wanted to jump the man's bones right then and there, Daisuke or no Daisuke. But he restrained himself, knowing it wouldn't be a good idea. He probably would be horrible at sex. No one was better at it than him and Daisuke.

Daisuke was the best sex that ever happened to him? Why, oh why hadn't he just lied to Daisuke about his feelings from the start? He'd give anything to have Daisuke back now.

Author's Notes: only a few "chapters" left of this... my great-grandmother just died though, so I probably won't feel up to writing for a little while. but it will be finished this summer, I promise!


End file.
